Zombie High School – Part II

by Bobby Semelsberger

Woodrow Wilson High School – 3:45 PM:

A group of zombies covered the courtyard, encircling the cafeteria. Suddenly, the janitor ran out from the cafeteria wielding a grenade launcher. Andrew and Trevor followed directly behind him.

Janitor: Stay behind me!

The Janitor fired one of his grenades 30 feet in front of him. The explosion cleared a path through the zombies that the trio could run through. The Janitor led Andrew and Trevor over the bushes to where his golf cart was hidden.

Janitor: Get in now!

The Janitor jumped in the driver’s seat while Andrew sat beside him and Trevor took the back. Trevor faced backwards, so he could see the zombies quickly approaching.

Trevor: Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.

The Janitor forced the gas pedal down to the floor and the cart rolled off at its top speed (about 20 MPH). The Janitor drove past crowds of zombies in many different parts of the school.

Andrew: I didn’t know there was so many of them.

The cart quickly screeched to a halt.

Trevor: Why are you stopping?

Janitor: We’re here.

Trevor: Where?

Janitor: The custodian’s office.

Trevor: You mean the dimly lit place with all the Clorox?

Andrew: Stop talking and lets go, Trevor.

Trevor leaped off the back of the cart and followed the other two into the custodian’s office.

3: 40 PM:

In the library, everyone had the same fear. They could see the number of zombies on the other side of the window increase every couple of minutes. The zombies were clawing at the glass and licking parts of the window.

Katie: Do you think Andrew and Trevor are okay?

Jamie: They’re fine, they’ll be fine.

Janet: They’ll be fine? What does that mean? We’re dead?

Jamie: I didn’t say that Janet…

Janet: You said exactly that. I need a bag; I’m going to barf.

Then Ronald walked over to the ladies.

Ronald: Okay ladies I’ve got a zinger. So there are two muffins in a microwave and one of the muffins says…

All the Girls: SHUT UP, RONALD.

Ronald: Geez, I was just trying to relieve some of the tension.

All of a sudden they heard ruffling in the back room.

Jamie: Did you guys hear that?

Katie: Mrs. Spalding is back there.

Jamie: Mrs. Spalding, are you OK?

Jamie stood up and approached the back room.

Jamie: Mrs. Spalding?

Jamie peaked inside and saw Mrs. Spalding. Her face was completely pale and her nose dripped blood.

Jamie: Oh crap!

Mrs. Spalding lunged at Jamie. At that exact moment Jamie jumped backwards, sliding over the counter and falling off on the other side.

Jamie: She’s a zombie!

Janet let out a glass-shattering squeal.

Janet: I CAN’T DIE HERE. I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN PARIS!

Jamie picked up a globe from off the counter and threw it at Mrs. Spalding, but Spalding just swatted it to the floor. The zombie moved towards some of the students in the room. She began to approach Ronald.

Ronald: Fat kid!

Ronald pulled the fat kid in front of him and used him as human shield.

Fat Kid: Come on, man. This is very emotionally scarring.

Ronald: Shut up and be a shield.

The fat kid swatted Ms. Spalding away, but she continued to inch closer and closer. Jamie ran to the back of the library and grabbed the book, History of Greek Civilization, which was close to 3,000 pages and weighed more than a newborn baby. Jamie ran back over to the zombie juggling the book in both arms. She held the book out and swung it into the back of Mrs. Spalding’s head, knocking her out.

3: 45 PM:

The Janitor was sitting at his desk looking into the barrel of his large grenade launcher and cleaning the zombie blood from the side of it. Andrew was looking on one of the shelves.

Andrew: So you just have a grenade launcher?

Janitor: Yes.

Andrew: Just “yes” you don’t want to elaborate?

Janitor: No!

Andrew: Well that’s reassuring.

Trevor walked over from behind a shelf.

Trevor: See, I told you I could find food in here. I found this chocolate truffle behind the mop.

Trevor popped the truffle into his mouth.

Janitor: You know we have mice in here.

Trevor spit the truffle out of his mouth.

Trevor: That was poop wasn’t it?

Andrew: There is a very high chance that was poop.

The Janitor swiveled around in his chair to face the boys.

Janitor: Are either of you hurt or injured in any way?

Andrew: No we’re fine.

Janitor: Either of you been bitten?

Andrew: No, no we’re fine.

Janitor: Good. Now, have either of you used a flamethrower before?

Trevor: What the hell? Do you have a flamethrower?

Janitor: I’ve been preparing a student/faculty zombie invasion caused by tainted meat every since the first day I started working here.

Trevor: Well that’s awfully specific.

Then they heard a noise that resembled a cat scratching a wooden post.

Andrew: What is that noise?

Janitor: That’s my radio transmitter I got at a police auction.

Andrew: So you can pick up radio waves with that? Can you pick up walkie-talkie transmissions?

Janitor: If they’re near by.

Andrew: They’re right outside.

Andrew jumped up and grabbed the radio transmitter. He turned a few of the knobs on the front to pick up a signal. All of a sudden they heard a man’s voice. It was Captain Ziggy communicating with someone from headquarters.

Andrew: Shhhh! I got someone.

Captain Ziggy (From the radio): … I want this problem to be over with, you hear me? I don’t care if you don’t have enough time. I want that F-22…

Trevor: F-22?

Captain Ziggy: …over this school and dropping a bomb on this zombie infestation within the next hour or I’m going to light someone’s hair on fire…

Andrew: That’s the government’s genius plan? They’re going to bomb the school?

Trevor: We have to get the hell out of here.

Janitor: That is classic government, man.

Andrew: Do you have a plan on how to get out of here?

Janitor: I sure do…

The Janitor opened up the top drawer of his file cabinet.

Janitor: When I go around cleaning up the offices late at night, I come along an important paper here or there, so I started up a little collection.

Andrew: So you steal paperwork from the principles office?

Janitor: What are you? A cop? Yes, I steal paperwork. A year ago I came across these secret files that reveal that a bomb shelter was built under the high school in the mid-1960s in case of a Soviet attack. From what I can read, the bomb shelter is linked to an underground tunnel that should lead to an exit somewhere off the school property.

Andrew: Do you think it still exists?

Janitor: I bet it does.

Andrew: Do you know where it is?

Janitor: Only the blue prints for the high school would reveal that.

Andrew: And where are the blueprints?

Janitor: Those would be with the principal.

Trevor: Crap! That means we have to go back outside.

Janitor: I’m grabbing my grenade launcher.

The Janitor returned to his desk, while Trevor pushed Andrew aside.

Trevor: Hey do think we should trust this guy? He seems a little Loony Toons!

Andrew: I know, but we don’t have any other options.

Trevor: But he could get us killed out there. I just don’t trust him…

Then Trevor peaked over Andrew’s shoulder and saw a picture of the Janitor posing in a picture with, certified badass, Chuck Norris.

Trevor: You met Chuck Norris?

Janitor: Met him? He’s my older brother.

Trevor’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

Trevor: Janitor Norris? Oh yeah, we can trust him!

The Janitor loaded his grenade launcher and faced the boys.

Janitor: We have less than an hour, boys. Lets move.

Andrew: The zombies are right outside. How do you suggest we get out of here?

Janitor: With style!

4:10 PM:

As the zombies clawed at the outside of the custodian’s room door, the door exploded blasting the zombies back in a wave of destruction. The Janitor burst out from the room, wielding his grenade launcher.

Janitor: Get to the kart.

Andrew and Trevor jumped out through the burning doorframe. The duo jumped into the kart in the same positions as they had before. The Janitor dove into the driver’s seat and sped off. As the kart moved through the school the zombies followed. Since Trevor was facing the opposite way he could see the army of zombies gaining speed behind them.

Trevor: They’re all following us.

Trevor opened the lid to the big red toolbox sitting beside him. He pulled out a large nail gun from inside the box.

Trevor: Oh boy! Merry Christmas to me!

Trevor aimed the nail gun in the direction of the zombies and began to fire. The nails flew out of the gun with great acceleration, sticking in to the zombie’s heads, arms, and legs.

Trevor: You know I was having fun, then I wasn’t, and now I am I again. Today is just a rollercoaster of emotions!

Andrew: Just keep shooting.

Just then a zombie leaped out from behind a tree and landed on the side of the kart. It grabbed Andrew’s collar. As the zombie leaned in for the bite, Andrew used his hand to hold back the zombie’s head, but avoiding the zombie’s mouth.

Andrew: SOMEBODY SHOOT HIM, PLEASE!

Janitor: No, I got it.

The Janitor picked up an aluminum baseball bat from the floor of the cart while keeping one hand on the wheel. He poked the zombie in the eye with the top of the bat, then Andrew kicked the zombie off of the kart.

Andrew: That was close.

Then Andrew turned around to see the zombie army following the cart increasing.

Andrew: The zombies are multiplying.

Janitor: I know. I have a plan…

The cart did a full 180-degree turn throwing Andrew and Trevor out of the kart onto the ground.

Janitor: You two find that bomb shelter, save your class. I can take care of these zombie dung bags.

Andrew: You’re insane!

Janitor: Only my doctor says that.

The Janitor threw Andrew the baseball bat and drove the car towards the oncoming zombie invasion.

Trevor: But I never got to ask him for his brother’s autograph.

Andrew: Come on we have to go to the principal’s office before the zombies see us.

4:20 PM:

Andrew and Trevor unlocked the principal’s office door using the janitor’s large key ring. Trevor burst through the door, holding the nail gun out in front of him. He scanned the room.

Trevor: It’s clear.

Andrew tiptoed in holding up his baseball bat.

Andrew: We need to look around for those blueprints. You check the desk drawers, I’ll look in the file cabinets.

Trevor: Okey-dokey!

Trevor slid across the desk and started searching through the different drawers. Just as Andrew approached the file cabinet, he heard Trevor scream.

Trevor: HOLY GUACAMOLE!!!

Trevor jumped back from the desk and pointed his nail gun toward the bottom of the desk.

Andrew: What’s wrong?

Trevor: You might want to come over here.

Andrew ran over, stood next to Trevor, and saw Principal Rushmore cowering under his desk, with his arms wrapped around a cabbage patch doll.

Andrew: Principal Rushmore?

Rushmore: Hey guys. How’s your day going?

Andrew: What are you doing under there?

Rushmore: This is just how I spend my Fridays. This is my happy place.

Trevor: Is that a doll?

Rushmore: NOOOOO! It’s Susie Strawberries! Now why are you boys in my office?

Andrew: Have you looked outside recently?

Rushmore: Outside? Why what’s happening out there? I haven’t seen anything.

Trevor: The whole school has been zombiefied!

Rushmore: This is all news to me.

Andrew: We need to know where the underground bomb shelter is located.

Trevor: The bomb what? Are you boys on drugs because this conversation is outrageous!

Andrew: You have a lousy poker face, Rushmore.

Rushmore: I’m a Go Fish fan.

Trevor: Where’s the bomb shelter?

Andrew: Tell us Rushmore because we have had one hell of a day.

Trevor: I popped a zombie in the pie hole with a fire extinguisher.

Rushmore: I have no clue what…

Andrew ripped the cabbage patch doll out of the principal’s grip. Andrew tossed the doll to Trevor. Trevor pointed the nail gun to the side of the doll’s head.

Andrew: Now tell us where the bomb shelter is or Ms. Susie Strawberry is gonna take one to the cranium.

Trevor: Just try me.

The principal crawled out from under his desk and stood on his feet.

Rushmore: All right boys, don’t lose your heads. I can tell you where the bomb shelter is. I know exactly where the blueprints of the school are just don’t hurt Susie.

Trevor: Don’t tell us what to do.

Rushmore cautiously stepped over to his file cabinet and slid open the bottom drawer. He polled out a giant roll of blue paper. Rushmore and Trevor slowly extended the doll and the blue print toward each other, and then Trevor ripped the blue prints out of the principal’s hands. He quickly unrolled the blue prints and placed them atop the desk.

Andrew: The blue prints show the entrance to the bomb shelter is just under the wrestling room.

Trevor: That’s on other side of campus. How much time do we have?

Andrew (Looking at his watch): Less then 30 minutes.

Trevor: We have to go get the rest of our class in the library too.

Andrew: I know, I know.

Rushmore: Great. Now you boys need to leave my office.

Trevor: You’re coming with us, chief.

Rushmore: Into the death zone? Hell to the no!

Andrew: Don’t worry we’re not going outside.

Rushmore: Then how are we gonna get to the library?

Andrew and Trevor smiled at the principal.

4:30 PM:

In the library, Andrew kicked off the hatch to the air duct. He slid out, still holding his baseball bat. Jamie was the first one in the room to spot Andrew.

Jamie: They’re back!

Everyone gasped when they saw the spots of blood all over Andrew’s clothes.

Andrew: Oh don’t worry; it’s not my blood.

Jamie: Oh thank God you’re still alive.

Jamie ran over and embraced Andrew.

Jamie: Are you hurt?

Andrew: No, no I’m good.

Then Principal Rushmore got shoved out of the air duct followed by Trevor.

Trevor: Hey I’m still alive too.

Jamie: I’m glad.

Andrew: What’s been happening around here?

Ronald: Ms. Spalding turned into a zombie.

Trevor: Holy crap!

Jamie: Don’t worry we locked her into the back room, but we’re worried about all the zombies outside the door.

Andrew and Trevor looked over at the door and front windows. A large group of zombies were pounding on the glass, and it was beginning to crack.

Andrew: We over heard a radio transmission and they’re going to drop a bomb on the school in less than 30 minutes!

This lead to another ear piercing eruption by the class.

Trevor: Way to put it gently.

Andrew: But we found a way out.

Jamie: Why is Principal Rushmore here holding a doll?

Rushmore: HER NAME IS SUSIE STRAWBERRIES! SHE IS BASICALLY A PERSON!

Trevor: Calm down, bro. You play with dolls!

Andrew: Okay everyone, we have to get the hell out of here. Single file line through the air ducts.

Janet pushed everyone aside and ran towards the air duct.

Janet: ME FIRST!

Andrew: All right. Everyone use Janet as an example. Let’s go, go, go.

Janet dove into the air duct. The large crowd of students followed close behind. Ronald stopped and faced Trevor.

Ronald: Guess what humorous song this whole experience reminds me of.

Trevor: SHUT UP, RONALD! Get in the air duct.

Ronald: Okay.

Ronald climbed into the air duct. The whole class managed to crawl through the air duct as Andrew led them and Trevor brought up the rear.

4: 45 PM:

The class began to exit the air ducts when they arrived to Room 345 (the classroom the air duct stopped at). Andrew scanned the room, as the rest of the students jumped down from the duct.

Andrew: We should be good.

Then a zombie jumped out from behind a desk. The whole class screamed. As the zombie approached Andrew, he whipped an upper cut with the baseball bat into the zombie, just under its chin. The zombie flew backwards, landing on its back.

Andrew: Come on we got to move! There are probably more on the way.

Trevor: All right everyone you heard Andrew. And stay close.

Andrew pushed open the classroom door a crack and peeked into the hallway. He could see at least 5 zombies wandering the halls.

Andrew: Trevor, you ready to go out guns blazing?

Trevor: Like a cowboy, baby.

Trevor busted out of the classroom and began firing his nail gun in every direction. He managed to knockout every zombie in sight. Once the zombies were out of the picture, Andrew guided the class down the hallway.

Andrew: Come on everyone we have to move quickly.

Trevor: Andrew! I see more zombies coming.

Then the window of a closed door shattered and about 4 zombies reached out from the window frame. One of the zombies wrapped its arms around Jamie.

Andrew: JAMIE!!!

Andrew whacked the zombie in the side of the head, and it released Jamie from its grip. Andrew swung his bat to hold off the zombies. Andrew then grabbed Jamie’s hand and pulled her back to the group. Zombies were appearing from every angle. Trevor followed the group, shooting zombies with his nail gun. Ronald pushed one of the zombies that got within arm’s length of him. Principal Rushmore was bent over, cowering behind the fat kid.

4:52 PM:

Andrew led the group outside. They all crouched down behind the bushes only feet away from the gym.

Andrew (To the group): Is everyone here? Is anyone hurt?

Jamie: I think we’re all fine.

Trevor crawled from the back of the group to the front, next to Andrew.

Trevor: There are more zombies now than there were before.

Andrew: I know; it’s spreading. We could be the only class left.

Trevor: Well there’s the gym, but zombies are surrounding the entrance.

Andrew: You’re right. Someone is gonna have to distract them.

Trevor: What are you talking about?

Andrew (To Janet): Janet, I’m guessing from your high anxiety and easily frightened personality that you carry around a rape whistle.

Janet: I got a key chain one.

Andrew: Can I have it?

Janet threw Andrew her keys. Andrew threw down his bat and picked up the nail gun.

Trevor: Andrew, what are you doing?

Andrew: Remember guys when you get to the bomb shelter you’ll find a tunnel and you have to run until you find an exit. Don’t stop. Don’t hide. You run, you hear me?

Jamie: What are you doing?

Andrew: You got this Trevor!

Trevor: ANDREW! What are you doing?

Andrew: You and I both know someone has to be the bait.

Trevor: You don’t have to do this.

Jamie: We’ll find another entrance.

Andrew: We don’t have time. Guys, it’s cool. Just find the bomb shelter, get out of the school, and stop the jet from dropping a bomb on the school.

Trevor: Andrew, you are totally invited to my party now. Even though the rest of my guests are zombies.

Andrew: Thanks, man.

Jamie hugged Andrew as single tear ran down his face.

Andrew: Hey, hey don’t cry for me. I’ll see you again, on this side or the other.

Trevor: This side or the other? That is the coolest line, man. Did you just come up with that?

Andrew pushed himself up, vaulted over the bushes, and ran to the middle of the black top, blowing the rape whistle with one hand and gripping the nail gun with the other.

Andrew: HEY WHO’S HUNGRY? I HAVE SOFT, TENDER MEAT!

Then all the zombies, including the ones in front of the gym, began limping toward Andrew. Once Andrew was sure all the zombies were approaching him, he began in run the opposite direction of the gym. As the zombies followed Andrew, Trevor led the class into the gym.

5:00 PM:

Trevor and the rest of the class entered the wrestling room.

Trevor: We need to rip up these floorboards.

Rushmore: Well how are we going to do that? We are so dead.

Ronald rushed over to a fire axe concealed in its red casing on the wall.

Trevor: Does anyone have a pocket knife or…

Ronald: Guard your loins!

Ronald ran through the group holding the axe up in the air and slammed it into the wooden paneling.

Trevor: Ronald’s thinking outside the box, I like that.

5:00 PM:

Andrew bolted across the black top with around fifty to one hundred zombies closing in on him in a circular fashion. Andrew leaped over a bench, but when he landed twisted his ankle and slammed down into the dirt.

Andrew: This is really one butthole of a day.

Andrew, now unable to walk on both legs, skipped out of the dirt and toward the school pool.

5:05 PM:

The class had managed to rip up the wood floor and find the entrance to the bomb shelter.

Rushmore: It still exists!

Trevor and Ronald pushed open the hatch. The inside was a pit of darkness, with no way to judge what was in front or behind you.

Ronald: I vote the fat kid goes first.

Jamie: I suggest Principal Rushmore goes first.

Trevor: I second that.

Trevor pushed Principal Rushmore into the pit.

5:06 PM:

Andrew had managed to skip to the poolside, but was in too much pain to continue on. Andrew caught his breath as he witnessed the zombies approaching him. Andrew splashed some water on his face. Just as Andrew was preparing to jump to his feet and fight his way out, a zombie lunged out of the water and grabbed his arm. The zombie pulled Andrew into the water. Andrew slowly plummeted to the bottom of the 7-foot deep pool, as the zombie clung to his back, attempting to rip through his flesh. Andrew elbowed the zombie in the gut and pushed his heels against it. Andrew sank to the bottom of the pool as time started to slow down. Andrew just lied on the floor of the pool, watching as zombies dove into the water from the surface.

5:13 PM:

Just outside the glass walls, feet from the police cars and fire trucks, the manhole cover popped open. Principal Rushmore leaped out of the manhole and kissed the ground.

Rushmore: I made it. I’m alive! I swear from now on I will be a better person. I will donate every penny I have to charity… maybe not every penny. Like a tenth of what I have.

Trevor pushed himself out of the manhole and stood nearby to make sure the rest of the class came out safely. Jamie was the last one to exit the manhole.

Trevor: Are you okay?

Jamie: I’m fine.

Trevor: Good, good.

Trevor turned around and saw Captain Ziggy posing in front of the glass wall for the news cameras. Trevor pushed past police officers and government officials to reach Ziggy.

Captain Ziggy: Do you cameramen want me to pose like I’m frightened by the zombies or should I throw up a sad face? I majored in theater in college, so lets just have fun with it.

Trevor: Are you the guy who’s giving the orders around here?

Captain Ziggy: I sure am, Chief.

Trevor: You ordered the jet to drop the bomb on the school?

Captain Ziggy: Sure did, Coach. Now shut up I’m posing here.

Trevor stepped up to Captain Ziggy and slammed a brutal roundhouse into his jaw. All the other officials prepared to charge at Trevor.

Trevor: Don’t come any closer. I just came from inside the school, and I could be infected with a deadly zombie virus.

Captain Ziggy (in pain): Is your fist made of bricks or what?

Trevor: Call off the F-22. NOW!

Captain Ziggy: You don’t tell me what to do. You are a boy; I am a man.

Trevor: I just survived a zombie apocalypse. You really think I can’t tear you apart?

5:12 PM:

Just as Andrew was contemplating if he wanted to die by drowning or by zombie bite, he heard the faint skidding of wheels. Andrew glanced up to the surface of the water, but didn’t notice anything irregular. Suddenly, a golf cart crashed down, front first, into the water. Time resumed to its normal speed, as the cart started to sink like .34 tons of plastic and steel. Andrew pushed off the floor of the pool and floated up to the surface. Andrew’s head popped up out of the pool. Andrew saw the Janitor swinging a flamethrower around, streams of fire flying in every direction.

Andrew: Janitor Norris?

Janitor: Hey, kid. Are you all right?

Andrew: I’m fine. I thought you were dead.

Janitor: These zombies are a disgrace. There is no way they’re eating this Janitor.

Andrew swam to the edge of the pool and pushed himself out of the water. He flattened out of the cement, feeling the rays of the sun shower over him.

Janitor: Where are the rest of your friends?

Andrew: Hopefully on the other side of the wall. We found the bomb shelter.

Janitor: Then why the hell are we standing here? Lets bolt, Grasshopper.

Andrew: I can barely stand. I messed up my ankle.

Janitor: Get to your feet, Soldier. I’m not going to let anyone be eaten by zombies on my watch. Not again.

Andrew: Not again? Where the hell have you been, man?

The Janitor dropped the flamethrower, wrapped Andrew’s arm around the back of his neck, helped Andrew to his feet, and lifted the flamethrower up to his left hand with one foot.

Janitor: We’re getting the hell out of this school!

The Janitor supported Andrew, for he could only walk with one leg. The Janitor escorted Andrew back over the black top, shooting lines of fire from the tip of his flamethrower. Even with his dysfunctional leg, Andrew was still able to fire his nail gun at oncoming zombies. Andrew and the Janitor managed to enter the gym. The Janitor lit the entrance on fire to halt any oncoming zombies. The Janitor dragged Andrew into the wrestling room located in the back of the gym and locked the doors behind them. Andrew and the Janitor saw the broken pieces of the floorboard leading to the closed bomb shelter door.

Janitor: Nothing has looked sexier in my entire life than that hatch right there.

Andrew: You got problems, man.

The Janitor set Andrew on the floor and opened the bomb shelter door.

5: 30 PM:

Jamie was sitting on the hood of a police car with a blanket wrapped around her, staring at the great glass wall. Trevor walked over holding a thermos full of soup.

Trevor: They got soup if you’re hungry.

Jamie: I’m not hungry.

Trevor: You know he’s going to be fine. You should have seen him out there wielding a broomstick, it’s like he had done this before or something.

Jamie: We shouldn’t have just left him in there. We should have gone back for him.

Trevor: We had to call off the air strike or all those infected students would have been killed. We did the right thing.

Jamie: I just hope he’s…

Then Jamie began to cry. Trevor put his arm around her.

Trevor: Come on cheer up. I have soup. Soup is good.

Then Andrew hopped over and propped himself up on the back of the police car.

Andrew: You know I’ve had a long and exhausting day, but the thing that would make it a little better would be a bowl of soup.

Trevor and Jamie were spooked when they heard Andrew’s voice.

Jamie: Oh my god!

Trevor: What the… Andrew you’re not dead!

Trevor and Jamie embraced Andrew in a loving group hug.

Jamie: How did you? I mean, what did you? I mean how did you?

Andrew: The Janitor.

Jamie: The Janitor?

Trevor: Janitor Norris? I thought he was dead, too.

Andrew: No, he’s still alive, and he really did have a flamethrower. I’m actually starting to think he’s clinically insane.

Trevor: Hell yes he is.

THE EPILOGUE –

As the hours turned, the nurse convinced the officials in charge of the Department of Biohazard Control and Defense that she could come up with a serum that could reverse the side effects inflicted by the meat. She proved unsuccessful in this attempt, mainly due to the fact that she was a school nurse and not a trained specialist. But the school district chose not to execute everyone in the school because it would reflect poorly on them, so they decided that the zombies would stay enrolled in the high school and would just be put under very heavy surveillance. The glass walls were removed and Woodrow Wilson High School reopened 3 weeks later. The school was basically the same except that every class had its own armed security guard and trained police dog standing in the corner.

Andrew, Trevor, and Jamie didn’t mind the zombies; they got used to them with time, and Trevor even captained an all zombie lacrosse team. The team was last in the nation since the zombie players would only attack the opposing teams players, but Trevor still had a few laughs along the way, so he could care less.

Ronald became friends with the zombies almost immediately since anytime he tried to make a joke they would let out a loud moan. The moan really meant they wanted to dine on his flesh, but nobody told Ronald, so he took it as a compliment.

The Janitor left the school after the zombie invasion because he said “he had seen it all now.” He moved out of the city and decided to try his hand at surviving in the wilderness. He did just great on his own, mainly because he brought along his grenade launcher to scare away bears and other predators, but if you ask the Janitor it was just man versus wild out there.

Captain Ziggy was stripped of his badge and decided to spend the rest of his life trying to become a successful model/singer. Ziggy was able to release one album titled “Endless Rainfall”, but the album was ultimately panned by critics and sold only 52 copies. The CD later turned out to be a big hit in Finland.

As for Principal Rushmore, the cheap skate who purchased the tainted meat to begin with, he was fired from the school only 26 minutes after he had managed to escape from the bomb shelter. After several months of begging the school board, the school board agreed to keep him on as part of the “Zombie Fitness and Training Division”. This basically meant that Rushmore ran around an enclosed track, wearing nothing but a suit made out of beef, while the zombie students chased him to get what the government called “a release of natural urges.”